FEAR

1.
i saw Ellen Degeneres' interview w/ Grey's anatomy star Sandra Oh.this is a very interesting interview for me because i love Grey's anatomy and its getting really high buzz fr american audience.
Ellen:where are you fr?
Sandra:my parents are fr Korea but i grew up in CA
Ellen:how did they react on you being an actor?
Sandra:they actuallly are not very keen about it now but before they're not very cool about it.because im the only one in my family who doesn't have a master's degree.
Ellen:is that a bad thing?
Sandra:well no,but fr my culture...California culture,education is really a big deal.
Ellen:but you are Korean,right?
Sandra:yeah,but i grew up in California.
Ellen:but you are still Korean,just by looking at you i can tell (not in an insulting manner)
Sandra:oh yeah,well...
***what the heck!ok,i love sandra oh before this interview happens.why does she keeps denying that she is Korean?well,technically she didnt deny,but its hard for her to admit as well that she's Korean.is she afraid that people may start disliking her for being Korean?
2.
are you afraid of the dark?typhoon...no electricity...no water (well,we have but only droplets of water)...no signal...but w/ work.this is a very humbling experience if i may say.taught me how to appreciate life,well,life and technology.
i was so lazy and i dont want to get up and buy candle during the afternoon so i just slept the whole afternoon.then came the evening,it was so scary and the rain and the wind is still there.theres no more candle available in the store and i dont even have a flashlight.so i have no other choice except to walk in the dark and bathe in the dark.
so while taking a bath,i was so scared coz its really pitch black.till dumating ang kinatatakutan ko,nagkamali ako ng hakbang...ayun!sprain ako...nadulas at lumagapak sa sahig.at masaket!now w/ a sprained ankle,i realized na sobrang hirap pala talagang walang kasama sa bahay,nagkasakit ako na walang nakakaalam,nadulas sa banyo ng walang nakatulong,nahilo ng walang sumaklolo sa kusina at higit sa lahat tumawang magisa habang nanonood ng tv.hay!
3.
Metropolitan Hospital,i visited a friend who had a kidney stone operation a few days ago.she showed me the stones that they got fr her system,grabe!parang papaya na maraming seeds.hahaha!ok thats disgusting and scary at the same time,it made me think,kasi baka sooner or later maganun na rin ako sa lifestyle ko.
4.
my dad called me few days ago,nangungumusta at the same time na ngungunsensya.hehehe!well,lagi naman eh.
dad:oh,kumusta sa bahay?
me:ok naman po.kakatapos lang finals nila micah
dad:si mama mo?
me:ok din,bat di mo kasi tawagan para malaman mo.
dad:di na lang,magaaway lang nanaman kami nun
musta work mo?
me:ok lang po,lagi akong pang-gabi pero maayos naman.
dad:masaya kanaba dyan?ayaw mo nabang magreview at magPT uli?
me:(long pause)...well,di ko pa po alam.
dad:nagpapaalala lang naman ako,sana alam mo pa rin mga priority mo.
***naiinis ako sa sarili ko,naiinis ako na nagpapadala nanaman ako sa gusto ng magulang ko para sa buhay ko,naiinis ako dahil i dont have enough courage to tell my dad na im starting to enjoy my work.i know di sya isa sa mga work na pwede mong sabihing tatagalan mo for several years,i mean who am i kidding.pero so far im enjoying myself.
bedsides,looking through my file i dont have any job na tumagal ako ng more than 5 mos.i want something in my resume that says i stayed in an industry for a reasonable time.not only stayed but did well also.
natatakot lang siguro akong sabihin sa tatay ko na masaya ako so far kasi alam ko na pag sinabi ko yun eh hindi sya matutuwa.pagsinabi ko yun eh masisira nanaman ang mga plans nya for me.mga plans na sya ang nagisip ang didnt even asked me if gusto ko ba yung mga plano nyang yun.
5.
my dad has been complaining bout his prostate for the past months.the last time he was here in the Philippines we actually had it checked and according to the doctor he's having some significant enlargement on the prostate.they gave him meds but since he's also diabetic (type I) theres lots of contradictions and restrictions as to what he can take and what he's not allowed.i dont know if its psychosomatic as well pero nagiging madalas talaga yung pagcomplain nya eh.im worried for him and knowing my dad,im sure he's more worried that i am.
6.
???:do you know where is this place?
me:yeah,thats near greenbelt 2.why?
???:may sasamahan lang ako
me:whe?!i know that place,puro agency dyan eh.dont tell me you're applying abroad?
???:hahaha!well im still praying for it.help me pray that may God's will be done
me:ganun!di parang pinamigay na rin kita.sad ako :-(
???:joke lang,para kang sira.may sasamahan lang ako noh.
me:di nga?
???:oo nga,although niyaya nya talaga ako na magpass din ng resume pero tinamad ako na magayus ng papers.hahah!
may sinamahan lang talaga ako noh.wala akong balak pa na umalis.
***nalungkot talaga ako nung nagask sya fir directions kasi alam ko kung san patungo yun eh.nalungkot siguro ako sa fact na may friend nanaman akong aalis.at ayoko,ive shed enough tears already.ang drama noh!pero promise talaga.ayoko na nang iwanan.first t'was Bam,when her dad decided to got to Hongkong for ministry.then Joanne.then jocelyn.now sya naman.ayoko na!takot akong maiwan.