when it rain, it pours
Am feeling weird lately…I really dunno why, ive been trying really hard to concentrate on my review these past few days but I cant…am even sure why? I have thousands of reasons on my mind right now why I don’t wanna continue, but of course ive been opposing those negative thinkings, easier said than done huh!!!
I wanna think of my parents as my motivation, but everytime I think of their situation, it makes things worse for me… lalong di ako maka-concentrate knowing that they’re still not talking…my mom confessed to me, she thinks may babae daw si papa sa Saudi, she got this suspicious text from one of papa’s friends at work…I wanna talk to titi= steve about that text he sent to mama, but I still haven’t found time.,..and besides, what am I supposed to tell him? “hey tito, you happen to know kung may babae si papa?” stupid question….
Another thing that bothers me is my sister…am still not over the fact that I hate her and I haven’t got my hand on her…not to sound so scary, but back when we were young, we used to fight talaga…as in nagsasabunutan kaming dalawa (ok, ako lang halos nananabunot)…kaya nga when I was young, my mom was so afraid na troubled child daw ako…but now am starting to believe na…I don’t think I would reach that point with my sister again, I just wanna shout at her face at ipamukha sa kanya mga kapalpakan at kalokohan nya
Then this afternoon my mom texted me, she’s not feeling well daw… its her nape…she woke up last night with her nape aching so much, she wasn’t able to go back to sleep…I panicked coz she used to have that pain before, we had it checked but nothing serious…but the recurrence is scary, so I told her not to panic and take a pain killer why I figure out what’s causing the pain…two things I found out: 1. could be torticolis (stiff neck) – due to poor sleeping habits
2. may be associated with vascular disease (stroke) – I have to check her blood pressure to rule this out
now tell me, how a I suppose to concentrate on this damn review with all these going on my mind…last night I kept on crying coz as much as I wanna read, review and concentrate, I cant!!! I kept on crying asking God, why now? Now that I want to make things right… now that everybody’s counting on me to pass the upcoming boards… now that I want to start plotting out my life….why?
I wanna think of my parents as my motivation, but everytime I think of their situation, it makes things worse for me… lalong di ako maka-concentrate knowing that they’re still not talking…my mom confessed to me, she thinks may babae daw si papa sa Saudi, she got this suspicious text from one of papa’s friends at work…I wanna talk to titi= steve about that text he sent to mama, but I still haven’t found time.,..and besides, what am I supposed to tell him? “hey tito, you happen to know kung may babae si papa?” stupid question….
Another thing that bothers me is my sister…am still not over the fact that I hate her and I haven’t got my hand on her…not to sound so scary, but back when we were young, we used to fight talaga…as in nagsasabunutan kaming dalawa (ok, ako lang halos nananabunot)…kaya nga when I was young, my mom was so afraid na troubled child daw ako…but now am starting to believe na…I don’t think I would reach that point with my sister again, I just wanna shout at her face at ipamukha sa kanya mga kapalpakan at kalokohan nya
Then this afternoon my mom texted me, she’s not feeling well daw… its her nape…she woke up last night with her nape aching so much, she wasn’t able to go back to sleep…I panicked coz she used to have that pain before, we had it checked but nothing serious…but the recurrence is scary, so I told her not to panic and take a pain killer why I figure out what’s causing the pain…two things I found out: 1. could be torticolis (stiff neck) – due to poor sleeping habits
2. may be associated with vascular disease (stroke) – I have to check her blood pressure to rule this out
now tell me, how a I suppose to concentrate on this damn review with all these going on my mind…last night I kept on crying coz as much as I wanna read, review and concentrate, I cant!!! I kept on crying asking God, why now? Now that I want to make things right… now that everybody’s counting on me to pass the upcoming boards… now that I want to start plotting out my life….why?
posted by chellix at
9:06 PM
1 Comments:
so the devil's harrassments is hounding everyone I know. I remember the song:
One shot to your heart
Without breaking your skin
No one has the power to hurt you
Like your kin
But hang in there Chellix. Hang in there. God will make a way. It's just the Devil harrassing you and me...
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