tantantadan-tantantaran

saturday: i had to go home to subic after my friday shift (which is saturday morning) bec one of my best friend is getting married and at the same time dedication din ng baby nya. yup, baby came first before marriage. hehehe! so joy got married to her first and last boyfriend, john. after the wedding ceremony, dedication ng baby nya...Ryman Ross, of course ninang nanaman ako. Joanne's mom, my bestfriend fr Kuwait, arrived last week and i had a chat w/ her after the dedication. she told me about Joanne, who apparently is pregnant now and is expected to give birth on March 28. yup, same w/ Joy, baby first before marriage.about a year ago another good friend gave birth, Jocelyn. same story, she got pregnant and gave birth first bago sya pinakasalan. she's in the states now.did i mention that all of them are friends fr Church. mga friends ko sila since i was 8 years old. especially Joanne who went to same school as i did. classmate ko pa sya at some point.5 kami actually na friends sa church, 3 out of those 5 are now married and may anak na. 2 na lang kami na wala pa. the other one is in a Bible School in Cebu.mom nga nila lagi akong niloloko, wala pa daw ba akong balak sumunod, my usual reply would be a smile and say.."naku baka po mag-suicide tatay ko pag nag-asawa ako"pero deep inside, marrying least of my priority. i mean i know im reaching quarter of a century (but i always tell people im 23, i like that age eh), pero i cant see myself marrying in the next few years. siguro one of the reason eh im always teased by my friends na "pumila". i have this group of friends kasi na mostly eh marrying age na pero all of them are single pa rin, one time i told them about this guy who proposed to me, ayun nag-react..."matuto daw akong pumila" hahahaanyway, wala naman ako masyadong violent reaction sa pagpapakasal ng mga friends ko. wag lang nila ako ipe-pressure na sumunod sa kanila. pero kakainis kasi now wala na akong mayaya na lumabas kasi may family na sila, iba na priority nila :-(

longest yard

i just had the longest 30minutes of my life...
my supervisor called me for an NB Coaching this morning and it was a bad news. i failed to meet the deliverables and im bound for DA. it was my third consecutive unsatisfactory. i felt like i wanna cry that time, of course i didnt, i dont wanna show a teary eyed face in front of my supervisor noh. he's trying to pacify me by making small inspirational talks, giving me insights and stroking my ego. i cant hear any of the words he's telling me, all im hearing is a voice in my head that keeps shouting "you should have passed your resignation! you should have passed your resignation!" i signed the DA agreement he handed me without reading, then i told him i'll just see him during remediation. im looking at the third copy of the DA form when the computer lit up and an email arrived. my supervisor suddenly stood up shouting and clapping his hands. i was lost! what just happened there? did i miss something? he crumpled the DA form and started patting (more of slapping) me on the back. there it was, my Knight and Shinning Armor--Patricia. my breather! my light! i finally passed!
my heart left my chest and i felt blood rushed through my head. is this for real? i cant ask my supervisor coz he has gone mad. he went running to the floor shouting and clapping.
he came back congratulating me. my head's still spinningcdue to all the drama but im relieved. i cant find the words that would fit how i feel right now. all i know is i want a hot cup of choco.