Perplexed…

You don't know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
and I was gonna tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone..

You know the feeling when you want to tell someone how you feel but you cant? I don’t know if telling the other person is the right thing to do. I don’t want to play the friendship card coz I know I’ll loose. Ang labo! This has kept me awake for the past 3 days. Has kept my heartbeat twice as fast. Pero this has also kept me going. Ang kulit lang noh. I don’t know if this is right kasi im not sure myself. I’ve never felt this way. Nakakaloko pala!

we dont have much of a choice

This is one of the longest Mondays ive had. started on a Sunday night, After dinner with maila (which is worth mentioning, we ate at Sweet Inspiration) I met up with my former team mates for some late night drinking. We went to this 24 hours place in Julio Vargas, so don’t expect us to go home without the sun.
After Julio Vargas we decided to wait for the sunrise in UP Sunken Garden, we were all lying in the grass when the UP guard came and asked us to leave. Apparently, students are only allowed in the Sunken till 10pm.
Ginutom kami kakahintay so we went to Kowloon West.
Went home around 5am, I had to wake up at 9am Monday to go to the doctor and also file my first ever tax certificate (hahaha!, 2 years na akong tax evader)
I feel so honest. Before we went to the city hall my officemates told me na wag ko daw i-declare ang salary ko para di mahal ang babayaran ko sa cedula. Pero being the Honest citizen that I am, I declared!
I went to the Doctor after that coz I need to have a follow up check up for my frequent low back pain, they’re guessing UTI (sana wag naman diba). After getting my med cert I decided to lurk around SM, nothing really interesting but I went to SOLO, I was trying out one of the very few pants that would fit me when my housemate called. The music was so loud inside so I stepped outside the dressing room and outside the store, stupid me, I had their pants on and it has those buttons that alarms when taken out of the store. So when I went out, eskandalo! Hahaha! The store people are laughing, they signaled that they’ll just lower the volume.
About that phone call, my housemate told me that our landlady is insisting that we should move out of the house immediately kasi naka-kontrata na daw yung house sa ibang tenant. I was so mad! Fully paid pa kami for this month, not to mention that we still have 2 months deposit that she’s refusing to refund or consume. I immediately went home (saying yung pants kasi ganda ng fit!). when I arrived, she’s talking to my housemate, you can see na timid yung housemate ko kasi opo lang ng opo. Di ako nakapagpigil kasi ang labo kausap ng landlady namin so I started raising my voice. To make the long story short, we moved out. We had an agreement that she’ll return half the deposit and half the rent for this month. Ayoko na lang ng gulo ang im so pissed and tired na rin that time so we moved out. Kaya now, wala rin akong choice but to live w/ my gay housemate in a house w/ only one room… temporarily! Till we found another place. So far he’s been a really gentleman. Sa labas sya ng room natutulog, nahihiya na nga ako sa kanya eh.

no title

moving out - there were three of us in the house originally but one of my housemate is moved out coz of his family. so that leaves the two of us in the house. we decided to look for another place, preferable cheaper or smaller than the one we have. we saw one near our house but the problem is it only has one room. now i dont have any problem sharing a room, i spent five years living in a dorm, but im a little hesistant knowing that i'll be sharing a room w/ the opposite sex. yup, my housemates are 2 gay people. i dont have any issue w/ them, i mean they're decent gay people naman (di naman sila mga baklang parlor), but it'll be weird for me. i grew up in a house na walang lalake, i cant even in one room w/ my dad. giving my room mate the benefit of the doubt naman, he never showed anything weird naman towards me. he's very prim and proper and such a gentleman also. so i dont know. i guess we'll see.

moving on - last March our account had a major reshuffle of teams. am i affected? of course i am, my previous supervisor had a separation anxiety and i keep advising him to move on and continue what he has started with his current team. then it hit me, ngayon ako naman ang may issue with my supervisor. hay naku! its not that i dont like him, its more of the other way around. i dont know if im just paranoid or what pero i feel weird everytime i talk to him. at ang dami na naming incident wherein he's showing disliking of me. well i wont care much sana but its affecting my stats. he's not scrubbing my time card and one time he held a team meeting without me. nyak! ewan ba!

goodbye geena - huhuhu! i feel really sad about the result of american idol today. Geena Glocksen was sent home, i like Geena, she's the resident rock chick this season. they never really had any good rock chick since Amy (from season 1 or 2 i think). its not that i think Geena will win, but i really think she deserves to stay longer than Hailey, Phil and oh my gosh, should i even mention Sanjaya! kind of unfair and sad that American Idol has become a popularity contest rather than a singing competition. im rooting for Melinda but i dont think she'll sell as an artist, di naman kasi talaga sya kagandahan eh. i mean look what happened to Fantasia, Reuben and Taylor. all of them are nowhere to be found.

hair bits - i was feeling a little crazy last 2 weeks coz of a big decision i had to make. i turned down a job offer as a therapist of a royal family. literally royal family. why did i turn it down? its in Saudi Arabia. i know its crazy but i dont think Saudi life fits me. i cant imagine myself staying inside the house for a year, will only have a chance to go out if im accompanied by the family. and seriously, can you really see me wearing the abaya?
After turning it down tons of “what ifs” flew my mind. I felt heavy. I decided to have my hair cut, probably the shortest I’ve had since first year high school. And since I also like Geena, I kind of patterned the hair from hers, if you know what I’m talking about. Hehehe!

Holy week – I was trying to remember how I spent my holy week last year. Well, I just did, I was not here last year. I was in Macau that time I think. The reason for that is because I just find it weird that the holy week passed and I never even felt it. As if an ordinary day just passed, the only time I felt it probably was Good Friday coz Commonwealth was so dark and gloomy that night when I went to work. Kind of weird coz two years na palang nabreak ang holy week tradition ko, not that I keep any in particular. Every year we usually have a special thing prepared sa church. Its between an outreach or sunrise service during Easter Sunday. Not to mention Saturday night we have to paint the eggs for the Easter Egg hunting. Simple things lang naman na namimiss ko or nagiging emotional lang ako lately. I think its more of the later. Ang labo ko noh, answering my own question. From Monday till Saturday, ang routine ko ay office – house – sleep – office. When I finally had the chance to go out on Saturday afternoon, wala naman akong mayayang lumabas kasi lahat ng friends ko nag-bakasyon.