Ramiele Malubay-another filipina auditioned in american idol

SPOILER!
she made it to top 24
(but Simon's right, she sounds like a cabaret singer with all the shouting. why do we always have to shout to prove we can sing anyway?)

This is so sad. I had to work last Saturday and Sunday. I officially have no social life. As in zero! Well I know overtime are really not mandatory, but still. Its sad. Hahaha! I wanted to play badminton either Sunday or Monday morning but I was too tired to do it. Maybe I could use some time off this weekend or next week. I’m looking forward to seeing the gang on February 15. I heard Jayzle’s paying for dinner. Hahaha! Im kidding! Anyway, if its any consolation, work over the weekend are not that bad. There were fewer people in the office, less noise, no boss meaning you can play some music. You can use the office internet without hiding, hehehe! But don’t get me wrong, I finished my job in time. Plus I get to take a nap in my station. Hehehe!
Those last 2 days actually made me think, which is rare, hehehe! Is this really what I want to do? Yeah it pays well. Yes it’s a kind of job that you leave in the office (you know how other jobs stress you out that even if you leave the office you still think about them?). It doesn’t really ask for any specific skill (just communication skill, which I think most human has). But I feel like I’m jammed here. 2 years! I feel like its been a waste of my 2 years. I feel like I’m meant for something more. I may not know what for now, but I can feel it. (aaahhhuuummm….) hehehe!
Maybe I’m just exhausted. Maybe I’m a little on the edge. Or maybe I’m right.

I think it’s Pavlovian: I get into my office and I start feeling sad, no matter how clear the sky is.

If my eyes changed color like my moods, right now they would be grey as wolves.

I don’t like wearing my glasses, it makes me look nerdy, but today I have to wear it the whole shift so I can hide my swollen red eyes. I feel sick. There’s something in my stomach that is not right. There’s something swirling in my inside, waiting to explode. I don’t like this feeling.

the voice of the martyr

I was just telling myself last week that I was not able to buy anything for myself this year. I was planning to get myself an I-pod touch, but then again my mom needed the money more than I do so I “lent” her the money. I opted for the I-pod nano (with video), my friend told me it only cost about 7-8k. I got excited, I started browsing about the gadget, even though I read a lot of downbeat about it, I still want it. But when I started my Christmas shopping, I overspent. Although I still have enough to buy the nano video, I was a bit hesitant coz I don’t want to begin my year with zero balance in the bank. Then my dad talked to me. He asked me if I have any savings coz he needs to borrow it, apparently my mom did not pay my sister’s tuition in full even if my dad gave him the full amount. So I lent my money to my dad. Although I know my dad will pay me, probably after 10 year, but I know he will still pay. I was left with nothing. Last week I went to the mall with pinkie to buy a gift for another group of friends. We were at Booksale, I don’t have any plan of buying book as a gift. She was browsing through the management and accounting books when she pointed to a brown old looking book on the top shelf and yelled, “anung ginagawa ng Jesus Freak dyan?” I pulled the book and to my surprise, it’s a copy of Jesus Freaks by the DC Talk. I read the book through Jasper about 3 years ago and since then I’ve been looking for it. I only have 500 left that time, but what the heck! Its Jesus Freak and its only 140. so now, now I have what I consider to be a very valuable gift for myself.

C E L E B R A T E ! ! !

How do I define 2007? Its has been interesting, from beginning of the year till the very last day. My parents celebrated their 25th. I reached 25 years here on here. My parents finally got married in church. I’m still in my supposed to be temporary job. 2 close friends from work left already. 2 of my very dear friend left for another country. Yet them leaving made our relationship a lot closer. I found a special friend in pinkie. Meeting up with friends seems like the hardest thing to do now (yes, im talking about you, you and you! Ampf!). ate lulu got engaged! I was without a phone for almost a phone, imagine the simple life with Michelle. My grandfather (from mother’s side) was in and out of the hospital because of his illness. i went all out with gifts for my family this year (which will probably be the last time. Hehehe!) I never bought anything extravagant for myself.
But in spite of that I stayed strong. I grew up. I managed. Of course it didn’t happen in an instance, maraming emote moments dun. Mga nagiinarteng moments. I grew closer to my family, especially my sister. I learned that when you shut up, they’ll shut up. I learned that forgiveness is something you don’t “try to do”, but rather a “duty” that you should do. I’ve learned that nothing compares to the feeling when you see friends/family show off to other people your gift to them.
So what else is in store for 2008? A lot of things. I’m seeing a lot of vision. A lot of plans. And most of all a lot of love. I’m seeing a lot of celebrating! Its 2008… lets celebrate!